Full PreFrontal

Ep. 197: Dr. Mary Hemphill - From a One Minute Meeting to a Lifetime of Flourishing

April 03, 2023 Sucheta Kamath Season 1 Episode 197
Full PreFrontal
Ep. 197: Dr. Mary Hemphill - From a One Minute Meeting to a Lifetime of Flourishing
Show Notes Transcript

The process of educating children and growing as an educator in return requires everyone to acknowledge the bidirectionality that is inherent to teaching and learning. The context and culture that invests in both the academic growth of a child and also in the process that honors the input from its learning community brings itself into a new realm of possibilities. By carefully creating time and space to hear the voices of student stakeholders, educators discover meaningful ways to act upon them with clarity and care.

On this episode, author, K-16 educator & administrator, motivational speaker, leadership expert and development coach, Dr. Mary Hemphill, discusses the framework of the One-Minute Meeting and the importance of an informative needs assessment that maximizes interactions with students to uncover their transformational potential. In an effort to build self-reliant children, we need to build relationships with children so that they approach their own challenges and roadblocks with courage and trust; and as their brains grow, so does their Executive Function skills.

About Dr. Mary Hemphill
Dr. Mary Hemphill is a Leadership Expert & Development Coach, K-16 Educator & Administrator, Author, & Motivational Speaker. With over 17 years of professional experience as a teacher, administrator, state director, & university professor, Mary understands the importance of fusing education, empowerment, & leadership together as she works with learning & working communities & speaks to audiences across the country. She holds a Ph.D. in Leadership Studies, & has led, coached, & impacted close to 40,000 educational and corporate leaders around the world on transformational & innovative strategy, self-empowerment, & leadership development. Mary is the proud CEO & Founder of The Limitless Lady LLC ™, an organization that helps people ignite the leader in themselves so they can better serve their community, company, and personal career through coaching, consulting, workshops, and keynotes aimed at corporate and educational leaders and organizations.

Mary is the author of The One-Minute Meeting: Creating Student Stakeholders in Schools, which teaches readers how to leverage a unique instructional practice called the One-Minute Meeting to authentically glean information from students. Developed to inspire school and district leaders to fully engage with and empower their students, The One-Minute Meeting is an exceptional resource for college & university courses in school leadership and administration. This text is also a valuable resource for in-service educators and administrators at K-12 institutions.

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About Host, Sucheta Kamath
Sucheta Kamath, is an award-winning speech-language pathologist, a TEDx speaker, a celebrated community leader, and the founder and CEO of ExQ®. As an EdTech entrepreneur, Sucheta has designed ExQ's personalized digital learning curriculum/tool that empowers middle and high school students to develop self-awareness and strategic thinking skills through the mastery of Executive Function and social-emotional competence.

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Sucheta Kamath: Welcome back to Full PreFrontal exposing the mysteries of executive function. I'm your host, Sucheta Kamath. And you've been listening to many episodes with many experts talking continuously about the neuroscience, psychology, cognitive, neuroeducational application of these transformative topics, one of the things as you know, that I deeply care about is how do we all reach our inner potential. And if there are experts who know a lot about reaching, particularly children's inner potential, we want to get to it. One of the thoughts that came as I was preparing to meet with an interview are a fabulous guest. Today, I was thinking a little bit about a story that I grew up with, you know, I grew up in India, as listeners, all of you know, recently, in a state that I grew up, it's called Maharashtra, where it's celebrated 100 years of a author and his mother, and so his name was Sham. And he wrote a lot of childhood experiences that shaped his upbringing. And the stories are 100 years old, which just fascinates me. But one of the things that, that, you know, Mahatma Gandhi used to say that a mother is a child's first university, and the teachings that a mother offers can really prepare the child to enter the professional university or educational institution, like a school. But one of the things that, you know, I grew up with, my mother was an avid reader, and she, in our house was a lot of stories about this little boy named Sham. And one thing was that he, for example, he used to, you know, kind of, you know, lived in wilderness, or you had a big bog, and, you know, their house, were around the house, they had kind of, you know, overgrowth, I suppose, and so he had a tendency to just pluck, you know, these, you know, beautiful flowers that had yet to blossom, and, and then he, she used to just kind of make, make him stop and explain that even these, you know, birds have feelings, and how you should really pay attention. And maybe if you're so tempted, maybe you should, you know, hold them in your hand and watch them and, and then he talks about how he went to school. And that actually changed the way he interacted with children. One of the things other stories that I heard was, he had, you know, he wanted to grow his hair and make it stylish, and, and so then one, you know, there, his mother actually kind of talked about how to really think about your Dharma, which is like your upbringing and the family values. So this is a little sidebar, but in the tradition where I grew up, children coming of age ceremony is to shave your head completely off, but keep keep on your head, which is growth of your hair. And that is the first time you get this very auspicious thread that you put up, put around your chest, and you begin your meditation and ritualistic practice of the religion. So why am I mentioning all this? One of the things that I wanted to talk about is when we think about children, and when we think about teaching children, and when we as adults think about influencing the world around us, we must really pause and say, what is the legacy of our knowledge and prior experiences that we bring into school? And do we know that simply by a child being in the classroom, or do we need to investigate that? And is this investigation? Is there any method to the madness and often a we are so victims of crazy busy lives that we may not think that we have time to know every child in the classroom? And a simple you know, I was at an educational conference, and I could not believe my ears that somebody was saying, one of the superintendents came and said, Get to know the names of children in your school. And I thought what, do not know the names of the children in your school, so, so yes, that could be simply a factor of living crazy lives. So with that backdrop, it is such an honor, privilege and joy to introduce a wonderful expert and a friend Dr. Mary Hemphill. She is a leadership expert and development coach, K to 16, educator and administrator, author and motivational speaker having heard her twice now, I can very very delightedly say that she truly is an motivational speaker and inspire inspiration herself. With over 17 years of professional experience as a teacher, administrator, straight state director, university professor, Mary understands the importance of fusing education, empowerment leadership together as she works with learning and working communities. She also speaks to the audience across the country, inspiring them with a framework that she has created, which she has captured in a beautiful way in a book called The One Minute Meeting: Creating Student Stakeholders in Schools. And she now is taking that wisdom on the road. She speaks at many conferences, trains many schools, and it's delighted, delightful surprise to capture her attention in this busy times. We are recording this in December, so you can imagine how busy she is. So with all that said, welcome to the podcast. How are you, Mary?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Doing fantastic. Thank you so much for that for having me.

Sucheta Kamath: So as I was saying in the story that I introduced, you know, when I came to us as a graduate school, so I was not a child. And I had come with such a rich background. So much diversity, cultural diversity, linguistic diversity, personal diversity of experiences. Nobody ever asked me. Nobody knew I was married, nobody knew I spoke five languages. Nobody even inquired what kind of socio economic background I grew up with. And the effort was to make me the most empowered student who graduates, it was never like, let me understand you. So maybe the way you can influence the profession can be unique in its own ways. So I know you spent a lot of energy thinking about that. So maybe can we begin a little bit about? What are we missing? When we look at our subjects upon whom we impose our knowledge, and expect them to learn that it's not bi directional, we may be missing that.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely iSucheta. First of all, thank you so much for sharing that and your story. Although, as you elevate it, it's not uncommon, because we have in the world of education, I feel like really sort of approached our students as human doings and not human beings. And

Sucheta Kamath: Tell us more. What do you mean by that?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Yeah, so a lot of times when we think about the traditional mode of school, come in straight lines, abide by the rules, sit in rows, listen to one individual who seems to own all of the knowledge and then regurgitate that information back to me in a way that lets me know that you've mastered it and understand it understand it is a very 20th century is a very cold is a very sort of transactional, yeah, transactional sort of model. None of that when it comes to the teaching and learning the rote memorization, the assessment and then just regurgitating it back to me, none of that says, Let me weave in the fabric of who sue cheetah is let me weave in the culture. Let me make sure that there are literacy pieces and mathematical concepts and word problems and stories that echo her reality, or that she can even attach and connect to. So when I say human beings versus human doings, I mean, we are the only industry that has not truly innovated in decades. When it comes to simple things. And you've heard me say this, how many industries ask their end user, What was your experience? Is there anything we haven't provided you? Are you getting what it is that you need? For some reason, in education, we've decided that the students are going to sit and get and graduate. We've never really said systemwide or universally said, Let's bake in who our students are at their core, their family structures, their cultures, their creeds, maybe the beautiful languages that they represent the knowledge and experiences that they've had, let's make that ground zero, so that we have these little human beings coming in and have them help shape our curriculum, our programs and our initiatives. Because when we start to do that, what we find in education was that we have been doing a lot of things that feel good, sound good and look good on paper, and also make us as adults feel like we have some type of efficacy, but we're not asking if they're the right things. And when we ask children those questions, they tell you everything you need to know about them so that we can make their realities a mirror in the classroom. Not Just in the community.

Sucheta Kamath: Okay, okay, so I'm almost like need to keep a deck of quotable quotes on Mary Hemphill. So I love this human doings versus, and not human beings that we are missing out when we look at the our teach teaching worldview needs to reshape, but one thing I think it's so interesting to me, you know, we have had anthropologist on my podcast and one of the comments that I heard him make was we, vicarious learning learning by observing the doers is one of the most powerful way of teaching. And I feel one of the, the structures we have created. And by the way, I'm not blaming the educational system, but we are saying it's time to innovate so as to your point, but there are hardly any opportunities where the students get to observe how the teachers demonstrate best practices. So how am I know you have this amazing pathway that you have? You're going to share with us, but can we talk a little bit about the practical difficulties? And are they practical? Or are they Oh, we don't have time to think differently. So what is the real problem?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Well, here's the thing, you said the right word, it's the practicality. At this point in December of 2022, I don't think we can afford not to be practical when it comes to thinking about just look at the neuroscience at its core. We have an education across the country and all continents, students who are coming into and being introduced to the educational process, from backgrounds that uplift, a couple of things, uplift family structures, uplift the culture and celebration of music and language. And a lot of that comes with heightened elevated tones, and sounds and colors. And then last but not least, also the stories, the go-tos of me finding people who look like and sound like and feel like me, but celebrate me and uplift me from the from the time I'm able to start gathering information, I am observing my world, and I'm making sense of it. But often not that for the students, we invite them into colorless, bland, remote spaces that don't mirror the beauty of their culture, or the beauty of their experiences or their background. We ask them to be hips and lips, we ask them to be very quiet as they navigate their world. So we're putting these what we feel like I'm using air quotes, practical rules into a traditional model. And then if the student cannot acclimate if the student cannot, what I say get in line with these rules that are so different than their family structures, their cultural expectations, then we say, What's wrong with you? Well, there's absolutely nothing wrong. Yes, or to find our tribe, we are formed to find the likeness. So what happens some of the schools and different individuals that I've worked with when we started fusing color, and culture and music and sounds, and those types of opportunities that allow students to explore their school versus being forced to conform to it, we see students feel like they belong. We see students engagement going through the roof, and we see their achievement also increasing because they understand that they found another extension of their community.

Sucheta Kamath: You know, you're saying it's so beautiful, and it reminds me so the story I shared with Sham. So he comes from same culture that I do. And so my both my boys when they turned eight, you know, ceremoniously we didn't do two separate. So one turn 10 and one turn eight, but we went to India, and we had this it's called, it's like, Hindu version of Bar Mitzvah. And, and they, I gave them a choice, but they chose to shave their head off and keep a circle keepa size, a lock of hair in. And, and when they came back, we did this during December vacation. When we came back, I gave them a choice, like, Would you like to wear a hat or keep it let this be a conversational piece. And it was, most people would be embarrassed because it is very odd and weird to go to school with this, you know, neither shaved off and nor like a haircut. And they both chose to not wear any hat or cap. And they both chose to talk about it. And I in fact, use those slides in my presentation. I think this idea of this invitation to know your like lived life experience is different. You know, somebody just had a Christmas tree during Christmas and you actually went to India and there's no snow and on the other hand, you actually had this ceremony where you were some clothing that no boy will ever be seen wearing. So now and just simply by asking ,they were invited. And simply by being invited, they were included. And simply by being included, they belonged. And so I've have witnessed that journey. So you talk a lot about doing that at scale, you talk about that. Not as a parent experience, but as an educator, intentionally setting the goal of making that happen. So maybe we can dive into this idea of discovering children's stories.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. And at first, when you as you're talking, I'm just thinking about how beautiful that was to one two things. You gave them choice. You gave them voice and their experience and how they shared an experience that with other people, specifically their peers, their classmates at school and their teacher. So I appreciate that. But the other piece is, is that you allow the educational system to be a mirror versus saying this is the reflection, this, you must wear that hat you allow them to Yeah, I love how you said that, to invite them into the conversation. And that's exactly what the One Minute Meeting is all about. I anchored it on the quote that my professor told me, as we started working on my dissertation, and it was something that I had shared with him that came from my mother. He said, Mary, I want you to remember what you told me, he's like, if you're not at the table, you're on the menu. Unless we invite students to the table, and allow them to join the conversation in equitable ways that make sense for them that match their modality of learning, to allow them to share, how are we ever going to find ways to have those on ramps to have conversations with students. And that is what the One Minute Meeting is, with time being the most precious commodity that we have in education. We can't afford not to spend 60 seconds with every child, asking them critical questions. Not only how are you doing today, but also what is your greatest celebration? And what is your greatest challenge. And when we get down on the level, I call it being a street level leader, we get down to the street level. And we ask our students, not only how they're doing today gives them the power of emotional language, to elevate their celebrations, which oftentimes are not the same things we're celebrating as educators, because it really takes the conversation back to values and what it is that they're holding close to their heart. And then what their challenges are, it helps us problem solve more effectively, it helps us celebrate and communicate with them more more with more efficacy. But then that how are you doing today helps our students be become seen. So many times we have students who are high fliers in the office, maybe for behaviors, or that student who's always going to do the right thing, because they just that's what they do. But you're also going to have those students who they do exactly what they need to do not to rock the boat not to be seen. But they sometimes don't have that opportunity to elevate their voice or to be on the stage and be heard. This process allows you to spend intentional time with every student in the building, whether they're pre K or graduating seniors, and then take their responses back to the teams that are making decisions back to the teachers back to their classrooms and say, This is what they're celebrating. This is what is challenging them. Now let's work to partner with them in their celebration. So whether it is their eighth birthday, or whether it's the Chinese New Year, whether a mom just got released from the hospital with a new baby, or maybe dad or uncle or someone has just come home from being incarcerated, that is a celebration to them. So when we partner with them, we're creating family, we're creating community, we're creating that tribe. And then when we remove every barrier that we can, based on what they feel is a barrier challenge. Then they start to see oh, Sucheta's putting feet to her words, Dr. Hemphill's putting feet to her words, or not just having a empty conversation with me, I matter. I'm a partner my own journey. And by doing that to scale within a school within a district within a community, you start to see the students are truly stakeholders. And I truly believe that they're the school heroes that we've been waiting on for years.

Sucheta Kamath: I just love that. And I think though, you know, I'm gonna, I'm going to show you the, I'm gonna show you the picture of the one that I was talking about. 

Dr. Mary Hemphill: That is beautiful. I love that.

Sucheta Kamath: So we it certainly is such a unique of, you know, experience to sorry, those who are just listening, I just shared with Mary the picture of my two children when they had their Munji ceremony or thread ceremony as it's known as so to your point, you know, I was thinking about out in an you know, ExQ is one of my is a software that I've created that teaches executive function skills to children in sixth grade to 12th grade. And we have been having a wonderful opportunity to interact with many, many districts here in Georgia and outside. And one of the things that came to my attention that one child shared the story that that he was actually sleeping in the class and and if at face value, you look at somebody actually sleeping during teaching, is the act of disrespect. It is absolutely utter disrespect for teaching. But you can even scale it up and say there's utter disregard for your personal progress, right? It's a high school kid. And then turns out, the teacher took the time to just even investigate or as compassionately, and turns out, he lives in a neighborhood where the shoot out happens at night. And so he had to get on the ground, not even on bed, so that he can be safe. And, and so this kept happening multiple times. So when you have this way, you would never find out, right from a behavior that can mislead you. Because then you can school somebody and say, Hey, don't sleep. Versus tell me more about you? And are you getting enough sleep now that just changes the whole? And I love the way you said that? When you see people as a whole, you're also letting them see your your own humanity, which then they feel invested in you because you are invested in them?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. Oh, Sucheta I love that. And and also, how many times do we victimize that student for sleeping without trying to figure out their reality that is impacting their ability to want to learn? You know, we're missing opportunities when we don't engage them. So I appreciate that story very much.

Sucheta Kamath: So you tell a lot of stories in your book, can you share one of the stories that you found very meaningful as and I know, we would also like to talk a little bit more systematically about this One Minute Meeting having three critical questions. Maybe you can kick us off with the first question, which you kind of alluded to, can you tell us about that? And maybe give us an example of a student whose story was very endearing? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: So that first question, how are you today? I hear a lot of times from educators Dr. Hemphill, it seems so simple. But it's so magical. When you think about every question being about 20 to 22 seconds, how often do we ask that question of whether it's little people or big people, and then sit and intently wait on the response? Well, what we found when we started, the One Minute Meeting is that many of our students and again, I was at a failing school, less than 22% of our students were on grade level for reading. And then the literacy benchmarks were dismal at best. So the language was lacking. The opportunities for students to intentionally communicate was lacking. So we baked in that question, how are you doing today? Because we knew that of students felt as if they belonged, and they knew that there was a caring adult on the other end of that question, very much. So we're going to get responses that would really help shift us. I had in particular one student again, and you hear it all the time you ask students, how are you? How are they doing? And they say, Well, I'm fine. Or am I right? Or I'm good. And you're like, Oh, give me more Give me more? Well, we started using the feelings wheel with our One Minute Meetings about the second quarter of school. And we were really trying to push students and move them away from just saying, I'm good. All right. And this one kindergartener, we had really been working with him. He already had a wonderful vocabulary, but we were just really trying to elevate his power of language. And I asked him, I said, How are you doing today? And he said, Dr. Hemphill, I'm extremely frustrated. And I said, Well, okay, tell me a little bit more, why are you frustrated? And he said, I've really been trying to get on the swings on the playground every single day. And this other student just keeps getting in front of me, and I'm just frustrated. And I said, Well, how can we solve this? How can we he said, Well, maybe if I've talked to him, he said, I'm gonna talk to him at lunch today. And I'm gonna try to figure out if we can come up with a schedule. And in my head, I'm just a little man just start to problem solve and plan and think about the future and how he can really have this conversation. And here's the thing. We have students who come into our schools and they have so many gifts and talents and whatnot, I can I could absolutely tell just from the way he was talking that he's either going to be a great debater, he's going to be a phenomenal politician or public thinker. But think about how the support of him is executive function of planning, monitoring himself understanding, he was like, I'm triggered by this, what can I do to be an active participant in it. And when he said, I'm extremely frustrated, that was so much deeper than him saying, a matter I'm upset, or I don't like it. Because again, when we are intentional as adults with arming our students with language, but then validating that their emotions matter. We then are going to create a pipeline of emotionally competent, emotionally mature and communicative young citizens for our country. This is so much more than how are you doing today? This is about how can I give you language and then let you use it as an asset versus a liability?

Sucheta Kamath: Wow, beautiful. My husband came to us after I did and he took a minute to acclimatize himself. And one of the funniest story was, he was on OU campus where I was studying. And he had not started his career yet. And he was walking by and somebody says, Hey, how are you doing? And he started, he stopped and started talking. And the guy just went, you know, and my husband was so perplexed. He's like, wait, but you just asked me. And then after three encounters, where people just hey, how you doing? meant nothing? He said, Oh, you're not expecting any answer from me? That's a perfect example. Right? So I think we do do me one of the things or two things about this first question that speak to me one is, this is such a metacognitive question. That means, if asked meaningfully, you're nudging the person to really look inward and say, Hmm, how am I feeling? What will the best answer be? But the second thing I gather from your direction and tone is you're not asking in a hurry? is not a question that's empty. And for the sake of sake of making the introduction to the topic. It is literally like, oh, no, I'm gonna stop and see what where this goes. So I really like that. Yes, absolutely.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: And I think too, that when you ask that question, how are you doing today? And then you wait for the answer. The silence will also tell you a lot about what you need to know about that student. Because 80% of what we communicate is body language. And I've asked middle schoolers and high schoolers, particularly this question, and immediately, eyes go down, shoulder start to slump, they start to turn inside themselves. They just told me so much without saying a word. So we spend some time there. Okay, take your time. Talk to me, creating that psychologically safe space in the silence, you have just created relationship with that student. And it may be your relationship that's going to save their life, if you take the time to be consistent and intentional with it.

Sucheta Kamath: You know, I heard Tyler Perry's interview on Oprah this is like, feels like century ago. But one of the most interesting things he said that he was at a stoplight, or, and he looked across, and there was a woman in another car or the car next to him. And he she smiled ear to ear. And he said, that changed the direction of my life that day, because he was on his way to commit suicide. He had no hope in his heart. And that small gesture of a person changed the way he was going to conduct himself. And to me, that is the power of that encounter that you're describing can have and such a golden opportunity. And I really like also this idea that if we are niggling and diming our time every single day, while we are wasting a lot of time, I feel we've wasted a lot of time, feeling overwhelmed by how little the time we have. And then when we get into it, then we are not efficient, or we are disorganized, or we are all over the place. So this kind of guideline really helps.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. And again, you know, goes back to we put these meetings on our calendar, 15, 30, 45 minutes, but really and truly do you have 15 minutes worth of information? Do we have 10 minutes worth of content that's valuable? So that's why the One Minute Meeting within that 60 seconds, you can get a lot of information.

Sucheta Kamath: So now I know your second question is What is your greatest celebration? Or what are you most proud of from last night past nine weeks or semester or quarter? I just tell us a little bit about the setup of this question. And I really like I love the balance between we are always talking about problem Have children equals problems, because otherwise you should be leaving a leading a seamless life and you shouldn't have any problems. So I think this, we also, I think it's so interesting, I'm about to complete. I've been teaching a semester long course on executive function at a university. And one of the things, these are all, you know, PhD students and highly capable, incredibly talented individuals, and one of the questions that they, they were so surprised by is, uh, wow, this is nice. If somebody asked me about this, you know that we are so busy moving forward with life that we never want to really check in. And the qualitative check in is what are you celebrating? I just love that. It's just saying, I know you're made of many things. Tell us a little bit about your framework about that. Focus on celebration. 

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Yes. And I love how you said that, because we did set this question up as the second question, because we do want students to have sort of that ephemeral positivity, that opportunity to say, this is what matters to me. And now I get to share what matters to me that may be academic, it may be cultural, maybe just a simple value. Or it may be something small, that because of the history of school, we just don't have a space in it in the agenda or in the content area. So for instance, one of the stories I always elevate is one of my seventh graders when I was in middle school principal asked her, What is your greatest celebration from this past quarter, she was an exchange student. And I know that she had come from the she had lived with us from the elementary school. So she had been in the United States for about five years at this point. And a student she was had a proclivity for STEM, she was just very bubbly personality. And so when I asked her what she was celebrating, I was 100% sure that she was gonna say I pass my benchmark, or I've had perfect attendance or just all the things that as a principal, you're like, Yay, blah, blah. She looked at me, and she said, Dr. Hemphill, I'm celebrating the fact that my ELA teacher, for the first time since I've come to the United States, allowed me to show up and celebrate the Chinese New Year with my classmates. Every day, she said, I miss school, and I had them out for a few days. And nobody really ever asked why she's thinking my ELA teacher asked me and allowed me to bring in the red envelopes, I probably was a my grandfather and grandmother, were able to come in and talk about why we give the red envelopes. And just having the opportunity to share that with my classmates, I felt like I was sharing me. Now, I'm sitting there fighting back tears, right, because a couple things, she said for the first time since she'd come to the United States. So that means that for years, the huge part of her culture, a huge cultural celebration and tradition that her family is very excited about. She never got to share with her American counterparts. And that time away from school, what was she thinking? What were the explanations that she gave when she got back but because this teacher saw her that mattered more to her this quarter, than any A, that any run a perfect attendance, any benchmark that she possibly could have passed. And what that reminded me of was, are we taking time to see uplift and elevate the stories that resonate with every child in this building? So that prompted us to sit down with our AP, our instructional facilitator and our media coordinator. And I asked them, Do we have a book, an article, a story, something that represents every reality of the children on this campus, and uplift them as the protagonist or the main character. It doesn't matter if it's physical abilities, exceptional children, academically, intellectually gifted language, religion, but every child who's represented on this campus and their demographic, I want to book an article, something in every classroom in this media center, where they pick it up, and they can see them because Sally Ride said that if you see it, you can be it.

Sucheta Kamath: Amazing, you know? I'm I mean, you would think this is part of everyday child, childhood experience for every child. But wow, only through this, these investigative questions or even inquisitive questions that we are going to find out anything more about our children in our classrooms, or even even you know why limit to children so let's do this. Mary, let me ask you in order to see you for who you are as a human, that I adore so much, what is your greatest celebration? Or what are you most proud of from past nine weeks.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Over the past nine weeks, I will say this, I am most proud of the educators that I've had, that I've come into contact with, who are still committed to ensuring that education is going to evolve in these beautiful and innovative ways. Sucheta, I have heard so many stories over the past three years, where people were like, I just can't do it anymore. Or I don't have it in me, or this has just been hard. But I'm telling you, the educators that are still in classrooms, in boardrooms, in communities, and in schools who are sharing, not only have a One Minute Meeting, but also have their fortitude and commitment to education. They're like, I'm so glad I hung on I'm so glad that I'm still here, we're starting to turn the tide. My celebration is that I have been at the table with them. And I have been able to push their stories forward. And they give me hope they they keep me inspired and motivated to keep doing this work. Because they never gave up on themselves. And they never gave up on children.

Sucheta Kamath: Now should we be concerned or proud of you, because you did not even hesitate for a second to tell us what your most greatest celebration was.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Because I've got it every day, I mean, this work, even the platform created, right, I sit down and listen to so many of your past podcast, this information, it's changing us, it's transforming us and with you and, uh, so many other individuals to keep going. That's how education is going to evolve. So I'm just grateful to be in the number with you all.

Sucheta Kamath: And you know, I hope listeners pick up on this that none of these you just now are going to we're going to get to the last question, but nothing is about it academics. And we are in the business of teaching. So that's the most fabulous and fascinating part about that is knowing someone's true essence is igniting something within them to do whatever it takes. So that learning can be completed.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Yes, absolutely. It's a full circle.

Sucheta Kamath: It truly is a full circle. love how you said that? Yes. So as we think about the conclusion of that one minute meeting, which is so powerful that we can accomplish this in one minute people. And I recommend you know, you should do this with your spouse's, which I have done since when I heard you first I came back home and I did this with my husband, and it was so adorable. And then I have done it with my father in law who also lives with us. And it was so funny. He was like, celebration, celebration. Does it count that my birthday was in it? I said of course, it was so cute. So this I think his birthday had just happened. So it was hilarious. But anyway, so the the third question, maybe if it's okay, if I can say what that question is, and tell us a little bit of framework of that. So the third question is, what challenges or concerns are you experiencing in your classes or in our school? And I just love like, it's like you said, at the top of the interview, that we have these little tiny stakeholders, but we never asked custom customers? How are we doing? Because we are saying I'm fabulous. Thank you very much no feedback needed. So tell us what your thought is behind this question and why that particular question framed that particular way?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. One, you know that question is last, because you do want to create partnership and relationship before you get to the problems. And in education, a lot of times we are solution focused, but that also means that we elevate problems above and a lot of times on top of everything else. So we really wanted to move through How are you doing today? And what are you celebrating? Just sort of create that efficacy and that positive vibration prior to getting to the problems? But the beauty of this question is that we're providing time and space for students to say for them from their vantage point, what's their greatest barrier? What is going on in their mental musings when we they we think about problems in the master schedule. We think about problems with professional development or program initiatives or the one to one devices aren't going well. And those are sort of like our rudimentary school leader, teacher leader problems and challenges or staff problems or challenges. But when you start to ask the student this question, you legitimize the fact that their reality is absolutely real, and that their reality may be the biggest barrier to why they're not understanding content to why they're not making friends or connecting with you in the classroom and the way that you think, because their brains only have so much capacity. They're still observing and taking in information, they are still working to make sense of their world. And when you ask this question, what's your greatest problem or challenge for the past nine weeks, you also start to understand that some of their problems are so great that they may not have developed the language yet to articulate it. They may not have the metacognition, to move through it and understand it in a way that doesn't create permanent barriers, or permanent damage. So think about from kindergarten and pre K, all the way to 12th grade, asking students what their greatest problem is, and finding out that they're dealing with things that we have the resources for, we were thought to be able to respond to, but we've never asked them. And really, what might take a minute to respond to is going to create a lifetime of increase in achievement increase in engagement. I've asked this question many times, and I've had students tell me that other students were their biggest problem or barrier, sometimes a teacher, and the culture or the lack of communication with that instructor is the problem or barrier. And also, in setting this up to, you are going to up the ante in how students and teachers show up in the building just by announcing that you're asking students to tell you their celebrations and problems. And so when they start to connect with you, whether it's you, the assistant principal, a counselor or a trusted adult in that building, and start to leverage their problems, and you bring all that information back and you get in the data room, and you start seeing, you can immediately see 30% of our sixth graders said that their problem was that they're, they're sad, or they're dealing with something that's making them frustrated. Well, you can nip that beginning of what could potentially be depression by saying, school counselor, teachers, I need you to get in here and figure out how we can bake socio emotional health into this literacy lesson.

Sucheta Kamath: Oh, brilliant. Yeah. And, you know, I think I just really love to thinks about what you said that, you know, as schools, fundamentally, is solution focused, because we are in the business of teaching and my definition of learning is not knowing and in the process of not knowing, knowing was something that is not known yet, is going to lead to problems. So the problem is not inherent to education, but education is trying to circumvent the problem of not knowing. But I think with that, if you just don't keep some internal check, you can become this very solution centric, and not spend enough time to know the problem. And I love the empowerment that you're talking about is when children are asked, they're so eloquent. But I also see this model being applicable to adults, because every single person can be interviewed, connected with and understood through these three questions. So I know you we are coming to the end of the interview. And I want to tell people one thing that I did not mention, and I wanted to bring this up that Mary is the proud CEO and founder of Limitless Lady. It's an organization that helps people ignite the leader in themselves, so that they can be better served the community and this, this is something very parallel to what I in my profession I'm trying to accomplish, as well as very deeply care about. So last question I have for you is, how can leaders begin to optimize the limitless potential within themselves? And is there something that they can introspect or ignite within, so that they can take their own journey to the next level?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: One of the things I talk a lot with our leaders, whether it's our clients, or whether it's groups in schools that I work with, is really this mindset shift away from self-care and into self-awareness. Because that, you're right, because I think self care has become a real big buzzword. And so I oftentimes tell leaders that the haircuts the getting your nails done, and going out and doing the bubble baths, all of that is fantastic, but that's surface. When you tap into your limitless potential, whether you're a young person or whether you're a person who's in community and career, what not what have you are in the corporate setting, asking yourself where and when do I feel most present? What have I really been struggling with when it comes to the problems that keep popping up in my personal and my professional life because that's bread crumbing you into what your particular passions and purpose may be. But when you find that place where you show up as your most authentic self, when you find that place, or that thing or the entity or opportunity where the mask doesn't have to be put on you don't have to figure out, who do I need to be today, you can simply walk in and show up as your full self, then you found not only a gift or a talent, or you found a pathway that your life's work can be dedicated to. And really, and truly for limitless leadership for limitless lifestyle and mindset, we have to start changing this conversation. College and career is beautiful, and it's wonderful. But it also says that there's one path, we have so many multi talented, multi passionate people who show up. And when we answer that question, where do you feel most present? Then we start to bake in? How can we edify this pillar that you have in STEM? And how can we edify this pillar that you have to give back to your community? Or how do we edify the skill so that you can keep pouring back into your passions?

Sucheta Kamath: I just love that. And, you know, just to show another way, our work is so in tandem, and so overlapping and beautifully aligned. My tagline for ExQ is the infinite know how. And I think the the limitless possibilities is the same idea of that, within you lies this capacity of infinite knowing, knowing no ability, and then infinite possibility of somebody else helping you discover what's true nature. And and, you know, I think this idea of self care to me, is also indulgent. In in a way that can foster self-blindness. And it can make you egocentric and self serving. And nothing wrong with that. But if you shift to self-awareness, it is really you become the one who's responsible for your disposition. Yes. But self care has this implication that things are needed for me to be me. And I just don't believe that.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. And I agree.

Sucheta Kamath: So well. So that brings us to the end of our podcast, I cannot believe you know, you and I can talk we have done that over lunch. So I am wondering, before I let you go, do you have any recommendations for our listeners? What? Are there any books that you found very inspirational and have shaped your worldview? And we would love if you could share?

Dr. Mary Hemphill: Absolutely. The there's two books really and truly that I say every leader should absolutely read the first is Simon Sinek's, Start With Why. Whether it is your life personal professional, whether it's a goal the program, starting with that, why he just the way that he talks and frames, how you can speak about it shows create microcosms around your why it just is simply life changing, not only just for communication, but also for just your mental wherewithal. And then the last book, which I absolutely love, I read it three times already is Jim Quick's, Limitless.

Sucheta Kamath: I love that.

Dr. Mary Hemphill: He is just in terms of maximizing your executive function, maximizing your brain's ability to take in information and then make sense of your world. That book has more tips and strategies in it than any course that I've ever enrolled in. And just simply understanding how powerful this muscle really is. And the fact that we're only using a fraction of it is mind boggling. So those would be my two go to leadership books. 

Sucheta Kamath: Well, thank you for those both inspirational books, I have read them or they're my favorite, and your book. So we are going to link all these resources in the podcast listeners. And definitely, Mary, I cannot tell you how amazing this conversation has been. listeners. Thank you for tuning in. Once again, thank you for inviting Mary, Dr. Mary Hemphill to our podcast and listening to her wise words. These are important conversations that is going to help us become more knowledgeable. And it's also going to help us shape our decision making if you are responsible for children. If you have children in your life, or if you have people who need to know how much you care about them. You yourself can really connect with these three questions and they can not only improve your understanding of them, but it can improve other person's mental well being. So once again, Mary, thank you so much for joining me. Those of you who are listening, come back again next week for another episode of Full PreFrontal. And until then, please be well. Thank you.